DANGER OF MARRYING THE WRONG SPOUSE 2
Danger of marrying wrong spouse is a very sensitive topic and every intended couple must take note of it. Marriage has been evidenced over the years, as one of the most complicated relationship ever existed to man. The issue with marriage is not the institution itself, but the drive and the purpose of its establishment. It has become a rampant phenomenon that people care less of what it entails rather their aim is on what they stand to achieve or gain in it. The core factor of a wrong marriage is basically the perception behind venturing into it. If we are to interview multiple male and female, we would see that their idea of marriage differs, yet they never sat over such with their intended spouse before tying the knot. One of the common perceptions is ‘All Men cheats’, yet a woman with such a perception will agree to a proposal at the back of that idea in them, such will forever have ‘trust issues’ on any form of event that emanate in the period of courtship and in marriage. Another, which is common is that, people get bored of each other after 5-10 years of co-habiting. Such will always see an avenue of a third party coming into the picture within the exact stipulated period, how then will there be faithfulness, trust and true love in a marriage or relationship.
When we look at the word, danger, it signifies risk, insecurity and that is not the original purpose for the creation of marriage. It was established on the foundation of trust and transparency, but it has become something of little or no interest today as people care less about who they end up with it. I would try and enumerate on several of the dangers that looms when you are in a wrong marriage.
NO PEACE: It is impossible for someone who is in the wrong relationship to have peace, such a person will prefer to find comfort in the arms of their friends rather than their partner. There will always be disagreement over little matters such as ‘you snore too much’, ‘why do you normal put your leg across the bed’, ‘you can’t be pressing the tooth paste from the middle’, ‘it is bad to drop your clothes here, it should be kept in the wardrobe’, ‘why is the hair in your arm pit much’ and so on and forth.
NO DRIVE: As a married couple, you are always drawn to each other, there’s always that desire to be with your partner, but when you are in a wrong relationship, you will not be drawn or attracted to such a person, rather you see such as a common co-tenant than a partner or a lover. You begin to ask questions like ‘what did I see in him or her before I say yes’, ‘Am I sure I was not hypnotized into this relationship’, ‘He or she isn’t even good in bed’, ‘She can’t dress or He’s ugly regardless of his wealth’.
EMOTIONAL DISORDER: This is a common trend in marriages especially when the other partner is involved in infidelity or engages in physical violence with his or her partner even in the use of words. Such individuals find themselves in state of instability, oblivion, anxiety, even suicidal attempts including death. It is important to know that for marriage with children, these can create a different pattern of living to them and they could grow with such a burden that translates into future incapacitation and failure to fulfill purpose.
RAPE: People will wonder, how come rape, trust me, even such happens in marriages. There are multiple cases of partners raping one another, just to get away from something or transferring a frustration or immediate failure on their partner. Some could have been a past victim of it while growing up and then develop such a bizarre trait. Another case will be when a partner transfers that sexual desire to their offspring or even their house-assistance.
UNCERTAIN FUTURE: Everyone regardless of their background, family have a desire or a dream to fulfill, a career height to attain but when in a wrong marriage, several sees such dreams abandoned and they just go ahead with what their dominant partner presents to them, In most cases, the woman. i.e. becoming a full house wife rather than developing to become a person of influence and virtue to her generation.
To be candid with the little factors mentioned, there are a lot more, but these are the core ones that needed to be addressed. For those yet in it, it is time to become decisive, stand up, ask questions, do not hide your vision, etc. Do not rush to say yes, and even if you have, but yet to tie the knot, there’s time to take a rain check, ensure you are in it with your best friend, someone that is interested even in the little part of you, not ashamed to know your past, not scared of the future with you, someone ready to go all the way for you, stand by you in all season. For those already in it, get a book, highlight what you have missed out on, state out the weakness of you and your partner, where did it all go wrong, how can we get a fresh start, after all these have been listed, identify ways of approach to get things right. Seek a marriage counsellor, get a trust worthy person to confined in, explain the issue, look at the possible solutions stated, analyse them and above all seek the face of God in prayer, He is the instructor of Marriage. Marriage is an institution where you receive the certificate before you start the training and your instructor is the Most High. He will teach, instruct, correct and provide the right solution to all problems.
It is never late, if you have missed it, God can return that love but first you must know Him for Him to assist you and bring you out of those problems.
Also see Danger of marrying the wrong spouse 1 for a recap.
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